Self-Forgiveness: Getting Out of the Pit of Self Blame

Most of us find a time when we see how wrong we have been or when having taken a certain path in life have been filled with delusion or have hurt someone and now feel regret.  At those moments of coming into clarity, one may find that it is easier to forgive another rather than self.

The process of self-forgiveness begins in the heart rather than through the logic of the head.  Love finds a way to be compassionate, understanding and kind. 

These instances remind me of a story told by Mother Angelica, a famous Catholic nun:  A sinner is walking along and falls into a pit.  He exclaims, “Oh no! I have fallen into a black pit and am covered in slime and darkness,” and he stays there.  The next person who is on his path of enlightenment walks along and falls into the pit, and he says, “Oh no!  I have fallen into a black pit and am covered in slime and darkness,” and he crawls out of the pit and has deep feelings of guilt that he repeats over and over. Next on the path is a saint.  The saint falls into the pit and is covered in slime and darkness.  He crawls out of the pit, dusts himself off and walks on.

And so it is with self-forgiveness:  Once understanding and compassion from the heart let go of the offense, we can walk on into the light and let go of blame of self.  In this state of mind, we could open to new possibilities that may not have been there had we remained in darkness.  Perhaps we will be greeted with more love of self and love of others, perhaps see a new path for our life, and perhaps we will be able to forgive others as we have forgiven ourselves.